I am constantly trying to reach the balance, and I am getting better at it without everything around me becoming still.

Jonathan Balcar
Jacksonville, FL
Transition Specialist at Project Connect (Assisting juveniles on probation find education, vocation, mentoring, and employment)

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What are you passionate about in life right now?
There is a bundle of related things that could answer this question. I am working on a few of them. I am passionate about my wife, about building a home with her, and about preparing for the future. Helping people in need is a passion of my heart, and I get to do that regularly with my job and through my church, Ocean City Church. I am passionate about my family and friends, and I attempt to focus on being a better brother, son, and friend to them on a deeper level every day. God is the center of these passions but sometimes gets less of my attention, which is backwards and affects everything else. Writing and music are fires that I don’t stoke nearly enough, but at least I am writing this.

Where are you in life right now?
I am leaning two ways and wanting balance. The between is where I want to be. I’m either laser-focused or extremely tired. Writing is my identity or I stop writing altogether. Sometimes I’m loud and goofy, and other times I’m quiet and wish other people would keep talking. There’s a voice in my head that says I’m not giving enough to the kids on my caseload or to people who are in need. Then I feel like I am becoming a doormat. I hit the edges too fast, and then I run the other way.

I am constantly trying to reach the balance, and I am getting better at it without everything around me becoming still. I don’t need the balance that calm water brings. That’s boring. I need the balance of a maniac riding a 40’ wave. I need life to toss and turn. I need to keep my eyes focused on the priorities in my life. I need to make sure I am giving them enough attention and putting enough work in daily.

I have been married since April Fool’s Day. I am applying to the Masters of Social Work Program at Florida State University. We help lead high school students every Sunday night, and we lead an elementary kids’ class once a month. My wife and I are starting to sell delicious pastries at a local farmers’ market every Saturday. I am training for a half marathon in December. I am going to dive back into the wonderful world of writing again and publish short stories on my website soon, I promise. And, I’m going finish the book I started.

See, it’s a lot to balance.

The biggest thing to balance is believing that I’m good enough or not counted out by my sin. When I am at my best, I hear God’s voice, and I am confident in who I am, knowing that He calls me His son. I have grown in so many of these areas, and God has shaken the rocks out of my shoes so many times. I stay imbalanced, though, so I lean on Him.