I was so sick of fear dominating my life that I woke up and decided no matter what, I was gonna live my dreams.

1E4A0501Ansley Randall
Jacksonville, FL
Graphic Designer

What are you passionate about in life right now?
My passions right now are two things: to create and to encourage others.

Where are you in life right now?
There are days I can push forward in life and as a designer. And there are days I want to run and hide. The truth is, I think I was so scared for so long that I lost who I was. Learning this past year that Jesus protects me and loves me just as I am has set me free in knowing that I am worthy. That love from Jesus has allowed me to live in freedom and has brought out my joy again and my spunk again.

I was so sick of fear dominating my life that I woke up and decided no matter what, I was gonna live my dreams. One of my biggest dreams was to make my own handmade business and also start making patterns. This whole year from beginning until now, I have said, “2017, THIS IS MY YEAR!” Its been a crazy year, from someone stealing my laptop and sketches, to losing my car and so much more. So, I am not really sure this is my year, but I’ll keep saying it until 2018 because that one may be my year instead. But I know one thing for sure, I was not going to let any of this bring me down or stop me from my goals.

I feel like God really put me in this corner that I was so scared to start creating, that I had no choice. So I started painting, living on hardly any food and no sleep! Through this, I started making patterns inspired by people who hurt me in the past. They were always the people who I allowed to hold me back. So, I didn’t want that any more–and in return, I wanted the pain they gave me to the be inspiration that pushed me forward. Honestly, sometimes when I post some patterns I want to cry, but once I talk about it…it’s freedom! Art Therapy 101. Being able to laugh about these people and the stories behind everything is the most redeeming thing for me. Freedom is something you take!

All through this, God has brought some of the most encouraging and supportive people back in my life, [and] that helped me believe in myself again. The weirdest part about everything has been the creation of JAX IS RAD. It is my passion, and it’s my fear all in one. I want to run from this, but I know God has given me this for a reason, and [I] need to keep building this.

So where I am at in life? I am caught between this running forward to crashing to hiding phase. But I know God has me. He holds me. He will never fail me, so I can be free! It’s ok to start shaking or crying; it’s ok to be vulnerable.  And to really sum up where I am at right now, here is my favorite quote from Steve Brown in the book Scandalous Freedom:

“One of the professors at the seminary where I teach used to have a wonderful handle bar mustache – not one of those little weenie mustaches, but a really grand one. He shaved it off the other day.

I didn’t recognize him. In fact, I didn’t speak to him for days because I didn’t know who he was. Eventually I asked one of the secretaries to identify the man I keep seeing around the seminary. She laughed and said, “Steve, don’t you recognize him? That’s Scott.”

I’ve gotten used to the new Scott. In fact, I’ve grown to like him without the mustache. He doesn’t care if I like him the new way or not. He is more interested in pleasing his wife and himself than he is in pleasing me.

There is freedom in that.

Shave off the mustache! Take off the mask. You have been bound, afraid, and depressed for so long you don’t even remember what it was like to be free. I know, that’s scary, and you don’t have to do it all at once. But trust me on this: You will like the freedom it provides.

After all, you have to please only Jesus. And he is pleased with you. Not your masks.”

– Steve Brown

 

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